Sure, it isn't like it's rice that you've spilled on your body
But it's still really sloppy, the blame is fallin' on you, oh-oh
Might've taken one bite to pack that pound of meat away
Afraid that it still made a spray, that fast food place sells goo
Oh, there's a way to ward off that grease explosion
A trick you might laugh right off, I'm sure
Oh, when that sauce drips down, formin' an ocean
Right upon your clean pants, buddy, this tip isn't that obscure

Look, you gotta use plates, uh
You gotta use plates
I said you gotta use plates, plates, plates
You gotta use plates, plates, plates, ah

Buddy, you're lookin' at me like I'm crazed
I seem, seem, seem to think you're stained cause there's naught twixt you and your food
Maybe, ha, you're as foolish as I say
Can't help but notice brand new stains
Have shown up cause you keep wavin' round that burger, you fool
It's such a dripper, constantly flowin'
Plus there's a ton of crumbs now on the floor
Oh, oh, buddy, that will deliver a huge commotion
Of big ants and other insects, not somethin' you should ignore

Please, you gotta use plates
Ooh, you gotta use plates
Listen, you gotta use plates, plates, plates
You gotta use plates, plates, plates, ah
Uh

Doo, dum, doo, dum, doo
Doo, dum, doo, dum, doo
Doo, dum, doo, dum, doo
Foolish to say "nay" because you gotta use plates
You gotta use plates
You gotta, gotta, gotta use plates

You think you're clever to diss my notion
That hard ceramic will protect your floor (just gotta use plates)
Oh, oh, buddy, plates made of paper? Prone to erosion
From the same grease that you're stoppin' from messin' your pants and more

Still, you gotta use plates
Ooh, you gotta use plates
Dumbass, you gotta use plates, plates, plates
You gotta use plates, plates, plates, ah