(instrumental opening)

Just throw it away
can't look at dress of Saoirse Ronan.
Between you and me I could honestly say
the design, it was phoned in.

Sheer black at the top
billowing pink down below
I have to wonder why that woman wore it
It's batty, not super, Gal Gadot.

And that dress really gives me the blues.
Panels on ribs, Rooney Mara, won't do.
Gray but with sequins
hood pulled up whole way
looking like space nun
was Janelle Monae!
And that dress really gives me the blues.

Oh no, Sandra, Oh!
Picture yourself in that dress.
Too many feathers without consultation
and you did forget it's a mess.

Greta Gerwig
cry in the night, she made me.
Looked like army blanket turned into
a dress of maternity.

And that dress really gives me the blues.
Long nails on hands, Billie Eilish, loose suit.
Bow looking giant
on a pink curtain.
Idina Menzel
left my eyes hurtin'.
And that dress really gives me the blues.

(instrumental break)

Kristin wigged out.
cry in the night, she made me.
Giuliana Rancic looked like she
was wearing red spaghetti.

And that dress really gives me the blues.
Maya Rudolph, orange does not suit you.
Laughing like children, gawking like drivers
hoping they did not
pay those designers!
And that dress really gives me the blues.

(Laughing like children, gawking like drivers)
And that dress really gives me the blues.
(Laughing like children, gawking like drivers)
And that dress really gives me the blues.
(Laughing like children, gawking like drivers)
And that dress really gives me the blues.

And that dress really gives me the blues.
(instrumental close)