It's a cuticle world I work in
A "Fingernails 'R' Us"
Hideous meathooks like a rake
The way they crack and flake
Makes me want to cuss

It's a cuticle world
It's a cuticle world
It's a cuticle world
Screw you
Screw you
Screw you

It's a futile, dull effort trying
To make their digits gleam
Fingers that look like buzzard claws
When they present their paws
Makes me want to scream

It's a futile, dull world
It's a futile, dull world
It's a futile, dull world
Boo-hoo
Boo-hoo
Boo-hoo

What'd you do to these?
Uhh, were you scratching fleas?
Smelly girl with these Lee's pressed-on
Wet and hairy like a mastadon
Go 'way

It's a moot 'n' null point I'm making
These hags will never change
Chewing their nails like sewer rats
Paint them in splits and splats
Makes me act so strange

In a moot 'n' null world
Coo-coo

I'm a dutiful girl
An inscrutable girl
In a moot 'n' null world
Sniff glue
Fling poo
Goo-goo

No tip for me!

It's a moot 'n' null world
It's a futile dull world
It's a cuticle world