Ooh, your music's wet
Is it wetter than Bucks Fizz or Brandies?
Songs I hoped they'd never play
Ten thousand worn-out old chichés

So, would you like to bet
How much better than little boy bandies
Kiddies trying to look mean
Dancing to a drum machine

When you sit there on your own, playing Blue, 5ive or Boyzone
Bet your tastes will change when you have grown
I hear that little plink, plink, plink, I know you're listening to N'Sync
Well, this is what I think:

I'm gonna play you some Rainbow
Gonna hear what rock riffs really are
Gonna play you some Rainbow
Gonna hear some rock guitar

Ooh, we know it's wrong
Is it wronger to listen and do nothing?
Hearing manufactured pap
That is total utter crap

You're playing vapid stuff again, from MTV or the top ten
Can they really be called "Boyz 2 Men"?
Though you tell me that they're great, Westlife are a band I hate
And before it gets too late

I'm gonna play you some Rainbow
Gonna hear that Richie Blackmore star
Deep Purple and Dio
Gonna hear some rock guitar
Gotta hear that loud guitar

(Solo)

Will there ever come a day when it all gets swept away
Will there ever be good songs to play
If they've got "Boys" in their name, you know they'll all sound just the same
And look like they're on the game

I'm gonna play you some Rainbow
Twisted Sister, Maiden and Queen
Gonna play you some Rainbow
The best there's ever...

Play you some Rainbow
Ed Van Halen, superstar
Whitesnake and UFO
Gonna hear some rock guitar
Gotta hear that loud guitar