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Song Parodies -> "Reader of Ayn Rand"
Original Song Title:
"Leader of the Band"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Dan Fogelberg
Parody Song Title:
"Reader of Ayn Rand"
Parody Written by:
The Stinker
The Lyrics
A high school child
Course-change forms filed
The semester’s long begun
Can’t make a dent in his homework
And he’ll never get it done
He hefts a tome
To take it home
Starts reading on the way
It’s “Atlas Shrugged,” he never knew
A book could be so gay
On the cover, Atlas bows
Denied a simpler fate
He’s struggling just to hold aloft
His burden’s heavy weight
But it’s not the world he bears
With straining back and hands
It’s really meant to represent
The bloated ego of Ayn Rand.
The reader of Ayn Rand is tired
And his eyes keep drooping closed
He’s supposed to read through chapter eight
But he’s mostly sat and dozed
The book’s so long he’ll need Cliff Notes
To help him understand
There’s no grade higher than a C
For the reader of Ayn Rand
His brothers’ lives were different
Like their class schedules this Fall
One’s enrolled in metal shop
And the other, study hall
But he’s in AP English
It’s become a living hell
Sweating out this class he’s chose
And praying for the bell.
He thanks God for those Cliff Notes
As he takes the next pop quiz
He’s heard of Dagny Taggart
And he knows who John Galt is
But he thinks Hank Rearden
Was a shortstop for the Mets
There’s some more he never read
And the rest, he just forgets
The reader of Ayn Rand is tired
And this class is getting old
He just can’t read it any more
He’ll just take the next test cold
And he’ll just skim the ol’ Cliff Notes
To help him understand
“I’m now just hoping for a D”
Says the reader of Ayn Rand
Course-change forms filed
The semester’s long begun
Can’t make a dent in his homework
And he’ll never get it done
He hefts a tome
To take it home
Starts reading on the way
It’s “Atlas Shrugged,” he never knew
A book could be so gay
On the cover, Atlas bows
Denied a simpler fate
He’s struggling just to hold aloft
His burden’s heavy weight
But it’s not the world he bears
With straining back and hands
It’s really meant to represent
The bloated ego of Ayn Rand.
The reader of Ayn Rand is tired
And his eyes keep drooping closed
He’s supposed to read through chapter eight
But he’s mostly sat and dozed
The book’s so long he’ll need Cliff Notes
To help him understand
There’s no grade higher than a C
For the reader of Ayn Rand
His brothers’ lives were different
Like their class schedules this Fall
One’s enrolled in metal shop
And the other, study hall
But he’s in AP English
It’s become a living hell
Sweating out this class he’s chose
And praying for the bell.
He thanks God for those Cliff Notes
As he takes the next pop quiz
He’s heard of Dagny Taggart
And he knows who John Galt is
But he thinks Hank Rearden
Was a shortstop for the Mets
There’s some more he never read
And the rest, he just forgets
The reader of Ayn Rand is tired
And this class is getting old
He just can’t read it any more
He’ll just take the next test cold
And he’ll just skim the ol’ Cliff Notes
To help him understand
“I’m now just hoping for a D”
Says the reader of Ayn Rand
Copyright (C) 2008 by The Stinker.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 5 | 5 | 5 |
User Comments
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I can't imagine Rand allowing a Cliff's Notes version of Atlas Shrugged. If she did, it would still be longer than "Gone With The Wind". I've read "Atlas Shrugged" at least four times. Still waiting for the movie. Don't hold your breath on that one.
I liked this a lot. Your pacing was great and your ideas were smart. There are now 5s gushing fron The Fountainhead.
What IB said. I tried a time or two to read Rand, It induced comas
This was brilliant. 555
Ah, yes, Alisa Rosenbaum, the Ann Coulter of her time. And about as attractive, too. (If you've ever seen Ann, picture her with short dark hair, and it's the same effect. Yuck!)
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