Four o'clock I've been thinkin' all night
Of the cash I'm gonna get from you
It's gonna come as such a surprise
When you find you've been scammed through and through

I'll tell you you should refinance
The rates are so low, to wait is unwise
I'll tell you I'll push it right through
Sign on the dotted line and we're good

I'm schemin'
Schemin' of what I'll do
I'm schemin'
Schemin' of scamming you

Never letting chances pass me by
I'm gonna bleed your account 'til it's dry
Yeah all of your cash will be mine

(Schemin', schemin' is what I do)
Suckers you'd better believe that I'm
(Schemin' you, tell your cash bye)

Five o'clock I've got it all down
You'll lose it all and I'll be safe and sound
My other schemes have got me nowhere
This is it, this plan won't let me down

I'll be gone, I think maybe France
With all of your cash, livin' so high
I'll be gone, you'll know the truth
I'm so far away, drinking expensive wine

I'm schemin'
Schemin' of scamming you
I'm schemin'
Schemin' to see me through

Never letting chances pass me by
I'm gonna scam you to pay for my life
Yea, scam you and live the high life

(Schemin', schemin' is what I do)
Suckers you'd better believe that I'll be
(Schemin' you, then it's goodbye)

Suckers, you're all just a bunch of suckers
You suckers, you always believe me, suckers
I'll be (schemin' you 'cause I'm so sly)

You say you're a graft detective
Bugger, oh bugger, it's such a bummer
'Cause now I'm facing
(Jail time of ten years to life)