Tommy used to sit on his chair,
Lounging night and day,
Sitting everyway he could,
He could.

Gina thought that Tommy was gay,
Cos when he sat down,
The look on his face, it hurt,
It hurt.

She said you've got a problem and I want to know what,
"Cos I'd really like to know if you're a pufter or not,
Tommy said "Gina, I've gotta problem downstairs,
And it hurts a lot.

Ohhh, He's halfway there. Ohh oh! Sitting on a chair,
He knows it's tough but he can make it I swear,
Ohhh oh! Sitting on a chair.

Tommy didn't know what to do,
He couldn't sit down,
He couldn't have a poo,
What could he do?
What could he do?
Gina bought our Tommy some cream,
But it didn't work
Tommy whispers: Baby it's ok,
Its ok,

He said I've got a problem,
And it hurts a lot,
The piles are inflating and I think they might pop,
Don't want it to develop into anal rot, oh no,
I can't even squat.

Whoa! He's halfway there. Whoa oh! Sitting on his chair,
He knows it's tough but he can make it I swear,
Whoa oh! Sitting on his chair.

Sitting on a chair!

Ooooh, I think it's turning into anal rot, did you get me the cream?
"Oh no I forgot!"

Whoa! He's halfway there. Whoa oh! Sitting on his chair,
He knows it's tough but he can make it I swear,
Whoa oh! Sitting on his chair[repeat]