What's the matter with the war I'm starting
Can't you tell that I am right.
Maybe I should buy some nuclear missiles
Welcome back to age of fright.
Where's my VP hiding out lately honey
You can't kill a muslim 'til you spend a lot of money.
Everybody's talkin 'bout the new fight
Funny, but it's still the Gulf War to me.

What's the matter with the war I'm leading?
"Can't you tell it's not time?"
Should I go to war with North Korea?
"Are you going to stay with the Iraqi line?"
Nowadays you have to shoot everybody.
Your best bet's true baby a nuclear missile.
Snorting lines, cold booze, even it's old ludes.
It's still the Gulf War to me.

It doesn't matter what they say in the papers
'Cause I don't understand what the polls mean.
There's a new madman in town
But you can't get him found by pointing a gun
Aimed at an Iraqi teen.

How about a billion dollars
if we can use your air space.
"We're taken over the oil fields baby
if we blow off Saddam's face"
Don't waste your money buying off the Arabs
You get more mileage by shooting up their harems.
Next phase, death rays, I'm crazed, anyways
It's still the Gulf War to me.

What's the matter with crowd I'm seeing?
They're gathering in Baghdad?
Should we shoot Saddam's wife and mother
If you do he'll be mad.
Don't you know about the new Iraq honey.
The rebuild will cost us a whole lot of money.
It's the next phase, death rays, I'm crazed, anyways
It's still the Gulf War to me.

Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new fight
Funny, but it's still the Gulf War to me.