Oy-yi-yi-yi
(it's the longest)
It's the longest line!
Oy-yi-yi
(it's the longest)
It's the longest...

If I run out of ice cream tonight
(Woo-oo...)
I will have to go out to Shop-Rite.
(Ah ah ah...)
What else can I do?
(Ah ah...)
this problem makes me so blue:
(Ah ah...)
I always end up on the longest line!

Once people read, "12 Items Or Less."
(Woo-oo...)
Now my ice cream's melting, what a mess.
(Ah ah ah...)
It's squishy, not hard.
(Ah ah...)
Why does she pay with debit card?
She's holding us here in the longest line!

Oy-yi-yi-yi
(it's the longest)
It's the longest line!
Oy-yi-yi
(it's the longest)
It's the longest...

I'm that guy who says you've got some gall.
(Woo-oo)
And the greatest miracle of all
(Ah ah ah...)
I don't break your neck
(Ah ah...)
when you try to pay by check
(Ah ah...)
which sticks us all here in the longest line!

Maybe this time it won't be long.
I get to Express.
Again, I am wrong.
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
but I've come this far
to this store that I hoped for.

Who knows how much longer this will take?
(Woo-oo...)
Faster, Denny's will serve you a steak!
(Ha ha ha!)
I took my chances
(Ah ah...)
on people with slowpoke stances
(Ah ah...)
and now I'm stuck here on the longest line!

I had sickened thoughts at the start
I said to myself
"Hold onto your cart."
Now I know:
Instead, go to Pathmark.
They're smarter there by far
I'll get more than I paid for!

I don't care what consequence it brings!
(Woo-oo...)
I'll get on line for more than 12 things!
(Ah ah ah...)
This isn't so bad!
(Ah ah...)
Even though it's not Express
(Ah ah...)
I will not be here for the longest time!

Oy-yi-yi-yi
(it's the longest)
It's the longest line!
Oy-yi-yi
(it's the longest)
It's the longest line!
Oy-yi-yi
(it's the longest)
It's the longest line!
Oy-yi-yi
(it's the longest)
It's the longest line!
(Repeat 'til fade...
or until that moron figures out
how to work the debit-card reader!)