Now here's a slapstick story I've got to tell
About three mad stooges from slapstick hell
It started way back as comedy
With Bad Moe, Larry boy, and me Cur Lee

We had a little donkey named Buck A. Rue
Just me and my doggie and a sack of doob
Talking about giraffes, no time for laughs
Father's posse's on my tail, on the law's behalf

One strung out Stoogie I be
All by myself without no canteen
My throuat is squeezing tight, like a hangman's wrap
My tongue is getting caught, my throat is getting cracked
Running like a squirrel, I ran into a nut
I said "howdy" He said, "what?"
He told a little story that sounded well....perverse
Sex play with the nuns, and that I wasn't the first
The ball was in my court, and he was serving quick
His voice was tense as mine as he asked me for some tips
He said, "can you get nuns? I said, "I can get nuns"
We had our talk of fun, till he called me "my son"
Quick with my thoughts I knew what to dread
So he shared some thoughts from his head and this is what he said
"Now my name is Larry boy, I've got a pickle that thrills
I think you know what time it is, it's time to sport dill"
"Now what do we have here? A look of fear?"
"I'm not a man to reprimand. Do I make myself clear?"
"I've had the nun's, you've had them too"
"We've both made choices of that none approve
You've face a tough decision as I can see
Confess you evil ways or you can ride with me
I said "I'll ride with you if you can get me to a shower"
The Father is after me for what I did in the tower"
"I did it real quick, I did it relaxed"
I did it in the sack of all sacks
Now I broke the oaths, the priests got my clothes
And right about now it's time to strike a pose
The convent romp, that is my claim
And I know the G-spot where I'll take my campain

We reeked with no showers, till we hit the flop
The bugs were jumping and the girlies were cops
This broad was sniffing like we smelled from afar
So I let a silent fart next to her at the bar
Larry boy said, "hey do you smell that pig?"
I said, "I didn't" but I know he's wigged
The stooge said, "pour baby, cause I'm no dummy"
"My name is Cur Lee, and I would like a gin rummy"
She dealt for the dummy, he held it to his nose
He yelled, "icky stuff, I don't do toes"
Flags went up and Cur Lee hit the wall
he yelled a some monks who seemed quite apalled
"now I'm Cur Lee, and I'm needing some soap
A bath and perfumery ain't just for the pope"
Larr boy was livid and flashed his rage
So I slapped the organ grinder and I spanked the monkey cage
The organ grinder pouts, the monkey hops
"The boy sure reeks, can he get washed?"
Cur Lee grabbed a shower, Larry boy couldn't cope
I grabbed my froggy, and soap on a rope