Time & again you have searched for your denture
Which doesn't cause my heart to beat the faster

What I've been longing for I never knew
What I don't want is you

Holding your hand wouldn't make any guys heart beat faster
'Cause you've got dish pan hands that feel exactly like plaster


You are the worst nightmare of your parents
The ugliest girl ever written up in song

You are the pest that will never leave me
Covering up your ugly face with hair four feet long

You are the one girl who will never enter my car
Whether you're going to Seven Eleven, even if it's far

You are every man's worse nightmare
No matter how many times you change your hair

It'll be a cold day in Hell before these arms will hold you
You're never gonna know that moment devine

God thought it over and decided not to make me blind
So catch you a blind guy-better still, catch anybody you can find