Team, we've got a deadline in si-ight
Any problem, large or slight
We have to deal with it
And find out where the fault lies, yeah
Oh, I've noticed a trend, it see-eems
Always one guy on the team
Who botche-es ev'rythi-in'
Ev'ry time, the same dumb dwee-eeb

Understand that this guy has to go
Always hurts our work flow, flow, flow

Gotta identify the teammate who sucks
It's a simple fact
We won't make progress with a teammate who sucks
Must get rid of the chaff
Why does ev'ry team have a teammate who sucks?
Big pain in the a-ass
One of us'll be the teammate who sucks
More useless than dog crap

This one numbnut, we've gotta find
Progress can't decline
We'll all get in the shit, kicked out on our hinds
Ah-hah, ah-hah
So if anyone has any thou-oughts
On who is this clod
Puts forth dumb things like they're legit
And good ide-as get voted, voted down, yeah

Please tell me, which one of us here blows?
Own up, we need to know, know
Which one's the schmoe

We need to exorcise the teammate who sucks
Never pays the tab
Pizza or beer, cause he's the teammate who sucks
Face we all wanna smack
Who jammed the printer? It's the teammate who sucks
Set back all our pla-ans
Once we ascertain the teammate who sucks
There's no holdin' us back
Oh-oh-oh-oh, yeah

Needs to go (needs to go, needs to go, needs to go)
What's that, Mike? Hmm?
You've got somethin' to say with your raised hand
You know who's the idiot? Well, please point them out
Wait, why are you pointin' your finger at me, dude?
You've gotta be kiddin' me

That can't be right, ev'rybody knows
I make sure things here flow, flow
This must be a joke, it's not funny now

No way in hell that I'm the teammate who sucks
That's a load of cra-ap
No evidence that I'm the teammate who sucks
So you'd best shut your trap
I'm confrontational thus: teammate who sucks
That's so not a fa-act
In denial I'm the teammate who sucks?
Let's see you prove it, man

You've got a list full of proof, buddy? (teammate who sucks)
Bet you couldn't fill a page
You've filled twenty-three, okay (teammate who sucks)
Still say it's bullshit, but I've trusted your word (teammate who sucks)
In the past, so I'll take a little look-see, oh boy, oh, well (teammate who sucks)
Ain't this funny, mate!
This whole list checks out
Seems (seems) I'm (I-I'm) the (the) teammate
That's the dumb douche, wow (I'm the weak teammate)
Didn't see that one comin', jeez, well (teammate who sucks)
I think I'll just walk out that door there
And rethink my life decisions, bud (teammate who sucks)
You take over now, now, now, now
Sure could use a stiff drink now (I'm the weak teammate)
I'm the weak link, yeah, ooh-hoo-ooh-ooh-huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh
I'm the weak teammate