Bummed man, I know why you feel down,
I said, slumped man, I know why the big frown,
I said, stunned man, you’ll get the runaround—
you’re gonna be so unhappy.

F**ked man, your frustration will grow,
I said, stuck man, maybe temper will blow.
Just to go there drives you out of your mind;
you’re like meat that the butcher grinds.

No fun to go to the f’ DMV,
no fun to go to the g’ DMV.

They will treat you just like a discarded toy
and kill every vestige of joy.

No fun to go to the h’ DMV,
no fun to go to the d’ DMV.

You will get yourself steamed, and you’ll get a bad feel-ing,
because the scene is surreal.

Stunned man, it’s in hell you will be,
I said, bummed man, catch that smell sulfury,
I said, slumped man, it’s like years it will seem.
Don’t you wish you had some Jim Beam?!

When you go to give them your pelf,
I said, bummed man, there’s a gnome or an elf.
But you only will get the chance to pay
after sitting there half the day.

No fun to go to the a’ DMV,
no fun to go to the m’ DMV.

They will do everything they can to annoy
and kill every vestige of joy.

No fun to go to the s’ DMV,
no fun to go to the c’ DMV.

You will get yourself reamed, and you’ll get a bad feel-ing,
like Ned Beatty made to squeal.

Glum man, I have really bad news,
I said, f**ked man, most of your day you’ll lose.
This is no place for anyone to thrive,
but you must if you want to drive.

Finally, after up you’ve been beat,
you’re a free man and escape to the street.
Then you offer flipped ornithology
to your beloved DMV.

Don’t ever go to the f’ DMV—
go to ca.gov.dmv.

Doing it online won’t fill you up with joy,
but it won’t near as much annoy.

F’ DMV. . .go online to the f’ DMV.

Bummed man, bummed man, there is less need to frown,
thumbs, man, thumbs, man. . .digits on the keys pound.

Plunk, man, plunk, man, fingers down on the keys;
up, man, up man, salute digitally!