Hung man, are you leavin’ this town?
I said, hung man, gonna zip off the ground?
I said, hung man, now your ticket you’ve found,
You may soon be quite unhappy.

Jugs ma’am, there’s a place you must go,
I said, jugs ma’am, if no photo to show;
It’s a place where they will probe your behind. . .
Many ways to have a bad time.

They’re gonna grapple gals, guys, TSA,
They’ll grapple despite your cries, TSA.
They’ve got something for men not to enjoy;
Gals will be equally annoyed.

They’re gonna grapple what pries, TSA,
They gonna grapple your pies, TSA.
Just hope that their hands are clean as they give a good feel
As they’re spouting their packaged spiel.

Hung man, they’ll be frisking freely,
I said, hung man, ’cause you won’t let ’em see
How you’re hung, man, so they’ll feel past your knee,
And they might grab hold of your thing.

Woman, you won’t be by yourself,
I said, woman, with a gal who’s no elf:
She’s quite wide there, and she pries your nay-nays—
You should have gone for the X-rays.

They’re gonna handle what pries, TSA
They gonna handle your pies, TSA.
They’ve got something for men not to enjoy;
Gals will be equally annoyed.

They’re gonna span both your thighs, TSA,
They gonna span gals and guys, TSA.
Just hope that their hands are clean as they give a good feel
As they’re spouting their packaged spiel.

Hung man, you have removed your shoes,
But it’s time now for some further abuse. . .
Be felt by men in places where your wife
Has to first ask you late at night.

You’ll be thumb-pumped, dames, wait and see
By a woman, looks like she’s once a he,
Then she’ll place there, hands on pie, then she’ll say,
Friggin' finished: “Have a nice day!”

You’ll walk off asking them, “Why, TSA,
Must you be grasping them, why, TSA?”
Which has something for men not to enjoy
Gals will be equally annoyed.

Go for the rads, then their eyes, TSA’s
Are gonna clamp on gals, guys, TSA’s.
Now, nope their hands are not gonna give you a good feel.
But you look on youtube and reel.