Guess whose butts got fat with age
Them high-style boys that had been the rage
Added weight is tough to gauge
Oh man, you would think them lads got lazy

They weren't fastin' if food did abound
Always buzzed when brew could be downed
Swollen dudes consumin' ground round
Thrivin' on the spuds and gravy

The boys are packin' pounds (Their poise is slack and down)
I said, their loins are lackin' clout~~ (Their groins cannot be found)
Destroyed by snackin' bouts (Their joy is sackin' out)
Their choice of slacks is stout (The boys are packin' pounds)


They'd grown so thick it made their pants look squat
Every bite they'd be wantin' more, steak and Tater Tots®
Man, what a scene to see them drool, eatin' nonstop
Them beasts, they were feastin'

And that time measurin' Johnny's weight
When the tick marks spun at an alarming rate
John couldn't see below his waist
What a trick to not explode from dinner

The boys are packin' pounds (Avoid the track and slouch)
I said, their joints react with: "Ouch"~~ (Their oinkin' abs do bounce)
Their poison: draughts and stout (With coinage cracks when crouched)
Enjoyin' racks of round (The boys are packin' pounds)


Heads will turn and frown
Guess who's packin' pounds

Just fed, but yearn for chow

Eat all night, they feel stressed and ill
Gas-X®, Beano®, Gelusil®
Then binge some more and have their fill
And with the belts gettin' tight, it's just upsettin'

That cute fox brings the order, passin' 'round some flavored grog
They'd like to get some lager, they grunt like hogs
Grossly chug till the rum is done
Now that the choice is beer again

The boys are packin' pounds (The joint's a tad unsound)
The joists contract and bound~~ (The noise could crack the ground)
The boys just gasp and frown (The boys are packin' pounds)
(Dreadful burst of sound)
The boys are backin' down (The boys are packin' pounds)
(The joists collapse, the boys are trapped)


The boys are fat as cows, not slim
Been chuggin' stout and vino

The boys are packin' pounds, not thin