I've taken challenges that were ha-ard
And bragged all about them for da-ays
Sang a bunch of showtunes while wearin' a tutu
But this new challenge is la-ame
Very la-a-ame
To pay my bi-ills, gotta stand sti-ill
Upon this pi-illar hi-igh
Dunno how long ago the guy said sta-art
But I can't feel my thi-ighs
Ow, my thi-i-ighs

Cause they said so-o, I'm on this totem po-ole, I don't like i-it
It blo-ows, stuck on this totem po-ole
I don't like it, cause it wrecks my shoes
Not fun, don't like it, despise it, don't like it
But I'll stay here cause I don't wanna be called a phony

I feel a distinct cramp in my arse
Been there for most of the da-ay
But it seems that length is not quite enough
Overnight, I'll have to stay
That's insa-a-ane
Could I get a drink, please? I'm quite parched
And some doughnuts would be grea-eat
Whatcha mean, that won't do? What, I'm not allowed food?
Getting close to torture, mate
Don't feel grea-ea-eat

Cause you said so-o, I'm on this totem po-ole, I don't like i-it
It's a big loa-oad of crap, this totem po-ole
I don't like it, like it, I don't, true
I can't deny it, yeah, don't like it, despise it
Still won't quit, won't make my promises become baloney

So how much longer do I have to stand arou-ound?
Hang on a second, where the hell are you goin' no-ow?
Ooh, where?

Can't be alo-one here on this totem po-ole, I don't like i-it
Wait, did you kno-ow I'd stay here on this po-ole, that's a nice tri-ick, ooh
'Fraid so-o, I'm stuck here on this po-ole, cause of your tri-ick, ooh yeah
True, though-ough, I'll stay here on this po-ole
Cause a challenge, challenge was made, dude
That's so connivin', you bastard, can't quit this
Don't like this, despise this but can't quit
Though this totem pole sucks, I can't qui-uit
Really hate this pole but I can't qui-uit
Hate this totem pole but I can't qui-uit
Why a totem pole? That's the questio-ion
I'm aware, I know it's digressi-in'
But I'm really bored, so I'm guessi-in'
Anything at all that's a questio-ion
Hope that I don't fall, sure won't like i-it
Not scared that my skull will need fixi-in'
Afraid that my goal, I'lll be missi-in'
Got problems I know, ain't no questio-ion, ah yeah
I might be-e a tad OCD for these challenge-type thi-ings
Challenge, I like i-it