[Instrumental intro]
[slow drums, gradually picking up and adding instruments - then bass riff...]
~ ~ ~ (Barfing/retching sounds during drum lead-in) ~ ~ ~

(At bass riff)
{Puke, a-puke, puke, I'm puking} {Puke and puke and puke, yeah, I'm puking...}
[repeat and continue to the bass notes up until just before the regular lyrics start]

I had just wandered in
this place after work
didn't know any people there
I sat down to drink
This guy was gabbing
he was really absurd
I thought he was a dope
but then he bought me a drink
And then he bought me some more drinks
I said, "Thank you, Dude"
all of a sudden
the whole room did spin
Then next thing
I'm in the restroom with
my head in the can

I kept on puking
Man, oh man, did I hurl
Yeah, I did not expect this
I can handle my drinks
barfed quite a while
yeah, all over the place
Just what stuff was I drinking?
It was too much for me

And as I knelt there on the floor
I'm soaked in my puke
the guy comes in to pee
I say, "Hey, dude
exactly
what was I drinking
that made me so puke bad?"

He said, "Well, let me think...
Man, you were drinking stingers
one after the other
you were pouring
them down
then you were talking to this cute chick
had your hand above her knee
and then you
barfed on her skirt
then in her purse..."
{Not a good move}
{BLLEEEAAAAHHH!!!!}

Then I got up and staggered
'round I did lurch
stumbling right into people
I could not keep my feet
I got all tangled up
then fell on my seat
chair I sat on was broken
on myself I then peed
And then the bartender said,
"Buddy, that's all for you"
And then you grimace and some more chunks you blow
then shortly
someone took pictures
of my head in the can

[During instrumental break]

{Most embarrassing; man, and here's how it happened}
{First, I barfed all on the floor}
{and then on the door}
{and then barfed some more}
{and then I fell when I tried to stand...}
{and...}
{Someone took pictures of my head in can!}

I said, "Well, I'll be damned
I just can't recall at all the last time
I got so drunk and puked over myself
and then I staggered to my feet
and then without missing a beat
Again, I...
puked on that chick...
on that same chick...
{Icky-Ick-Ick}
{Eeewww!}

Right then the bartender said
"Out of here, man"
So I flipped him the bird
and then went out to my van

Then puked my dinner up
all over my van

There was no way to make it
back to the can

Next I remember
I woke up in the slam

I drank six stingers
then threw up in my van

Someone's got pictures
of my head in the can

The next two months
it smelled like puke in my van...

[During instrumentals out to fade]

{Puke, puke, oh man, I sure puked, yeah, man}
{I puked all over my van}

{I drank six Stingers and puked over my van}

{The next two months it smelled like puke in my van}

{I'd say this evening did not work out as I planned}

~ ~ ~ [repeat favorite line(s) out to fade] ~ ~ ~