Bulgin’ Thighs

Freshman girls just seem to find out early
The joy found in dessert late at night
A rich cream puff but she won't have to worry
She'll wear a skirt and she’ll still look all right

A lonely dorm room fightin’ study burnout
She looks for refuge in a pizza slice
And it makes her start to think she’s gotta work out
But it’s off to town for a burger and some fries

The girls all get together for the evening
To console each other cuz they’re feelin' down
They’ll feel better when it’s sugar they’re receivin’
They’re headed for the eatin' side of town

You can't hide your bulgin’ thighs
And that skirt is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd exercise
There ain't no way to hide your bulgin’ thighs

On the other side of campus boys are dreamin'
’Bout all the diff’rent ways those girls could please
But when they’re parked and windows are a-steamin’
He don’t expect her thighs to feel like cottage cheese

She rushes home for some sugar pleasure
She tells herself it's only for tonight
She swears that soon she'll work out and feel better
When the donut’s down that skirt's a little tight

You can't hide your bulgin’ thighs
And that skirt is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd exercise
There ain't no way to hide your bulgin’ thighs

She wakes up and scarfs a bag of Frito’s
Stares in the mirror as she sadly sighs
Another night alone - thank God for Cheeto’s
She’s glad she’s still got her junk food highs

She wonders how her diet got this crazy
She thinks of how she looked back in high school
Did she get fat or did she just get lazy?
”Bout now a plate of nachos would be cool

My, oh my, college sure did change things
You used to watch your weight so carefully
You never thought you’d get the freshman fifteen
You're not the same old girl you used to be

You can't hide your bulgin’ thighs
And that skirt is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd exercise
There ain't no way to hide your bulgin’ thighs
There ain't no way to hide your bulgin’ thighs
Honey, you can't hide those bulgin' thighs