Again it's rung - I'm missin' all my TV show
Statin' that my health plan's wrong
When they paused I'd said so long -
They had redial

Please change to MCI and then your bill will slow
Upgrade PC to Athlon
Insincere but then
They act like your best friend
And my dinner's shot to hell!

Lemme give you a deal, lemme sell it to you - the Times
Ev'ry ring-a-ling-a-ling
Pain translated thru my phone line

Know that deep in my heart
I dislike telemart
I can really pray they'll go to hell for sure
Just pester me once more

"Coupon books like ours are such an awesome buy
And the bargains you can't pass"
To those marketers I say "please kiss my a__"
Warm up credit card so I can give to them
All it's numbers and it's words

Polka jamborees
Packed into twelve CD's
It will take me years to pay

Ev'ry blah-blah-blah-blah it sends shivers right down my spine
Ev'ry ring-a-ling-a-ling
Finds me being harassed by swine....

I'll have pert mammaries
Take a trip overseas
If I'd just commit to buy - can't take no more
They've pestered me once more

Ev'ry car I polish with their product - see how it shines
Vase is Ming-a-ling-a-ling
It is objet d'art so fine

Ev'ry blah-blah-blah-blah it sends shivers right down my spine
Ev'ry ring-a-ling-a-ling
Finds me being harassed by swine....

(repeat and fade)