Heard it on the news
They said somethin' 'bout the Jews
It's the Passion of the Christ
But I ain't seen it

So I jumped in my car
Stood in line and in the dark
After freezin' for an hour
I got me seated

Gospels of Michael
Of Paul, Luke and John
Remember 'em from Catholic school
The tension is risin'
And the movie's comin' on

Gettin' the Christ fever, Christ fever
Mel Gibson produced it
Show me that Christ fever, Christ fever
Heard it's causin' Jews fits

Here I am
Hope I don't get sick in the aisle
Man those frickin' Romans were vile
Torturing Him
Biblical sty-y-y-y-yle

Christ fever, Christ fever
Mel Gibson produced it
Watchin' them Christ beaters, Christ beaters
That's one gruesome movie

In Gethsemane, yeah
What's that, a woman dressed as Satan?
Think she stole the costume from
Ingmar Bergman
An idea came to mind
Maybe if priests were forced to watch it
Then they would not be molestin'
All them young 'uns!

Whippin's and bleedin'
Mel Gibson must like
He films 'em in super slo-mo
I didn't do it
But I'm feelin' contrite

Christ fever, Christ fever
Mel Gibson produced it
Watchin' them Christ beaters, Christ beaters
That's one gruesome movie

Here I am
Prayin' that this movie don't last
Watching torture really sucks ass
Why did I pay
Ten bucks per pass?

Christ fever, Christ fever
Mel Gibson produced it
Watchin' them Christ beaters, Christ beaters
That's one gruesome movie (Playin' at ev'ry local theater....)