I won't say who said this to me
"What I would like to try is s*d*my
So if you could come over here
I've got the lubricant and beer
So you can **** me ** the ****"

No thanks, my friend, I'm gonna pass
I'm not a guy who *****s up the ****
Though it may be a cunning stunt
I will be completely blunt
I prefer it from the front


"We'll have joy, we'll have fun
If you **** me ** the ***"
But no way, I declined
I won't **** you from ******


"So what's your gripe with b*****y?
Why are you not gonna do that to me?"
I say that's not my kind of job
No I'm not the kind of yob
Who wants to have a ****** ****

Ain't no way there's gonna be
One of my parts inserted ****ly
Listen, 'cause that's not how it goes
Not my p***s, not my nose
Not my fingers, not my toes


You may like it as smut
Taking it right ** the ****
But they vanish, the smiles
When it rubs on thrombosed piles


Afraid I spoiled your little plan
When you asked me to be your back door man
I've a warning, this is it:
If your sphincter ends up split
You might end up in the ****

Watch out you'll get wrecked rectally
From a penile colonectomy
Don't stick your backside in the air.
Though I don't know why I care
'Cause I will not put *this* in *there*.


You can rock, you can roll
With a lubricated hole
But one thing should be known:
You can rock & roll alone

You want ****k, you want ***
You want ***** up the ***
I've just one thing to say..
Gran..
Put down "50 Shades of Gray"