I'm flailing away, on the golfing course with a nervous three
I get to the tee, gleefully I strike and my partners flee
Oh lord, I'm a-whackin', ball flies toward
A group of old ladies, so I yell, "Fore!"
And it flies right 'tween her thighs, embarrassed one

I look down to see, inspection of her legs scars my memory
So flabby; they're bad
I hope this nightmare ends, oh the dreams I'll have
I have caddy look shot over, shook his head and goes
"You gotta fried egg there, it looks like you're hosed"
But I'll try best that I can, to blast it out

A smattering of screaming, those dears assault my head
They bang on me with golfing clubs and I profusely bled
They said, "Don't flail away, you get away
Don't flail away, you flee, cad!"
"Don't flail away, you'll have to pay
Don't flail away on Bea!"
They whaled away, I bailed from fray, I failed to say sor-ry
Their hair was gray, they called me gay, they tried to slay poor me

[Instrumental break between beatings]

And as I lay there bleeding, looked into their eyes
They climbed into their golf carts and just ignored my cries
"Punk nailed today, punk nailed today
Punk nailed today, oh we bad!"
"Skunk flailed today, we made him pay, so drunk the skunk must be!"
Won't flail away, no golf today, no flail away for me!
Won't ever play, on Ladies Day, no more I'll play, not me!
My partners, hey! They ran away! They couldn't stay for me?
No way Jose', no help with fray, they gotta pay.....

[fade into unconsciousness]