I remember...the thirty five sheets of ply
When I bought them I was on the scene for a Chippendale
I can still remember...when my daddy was quite confused
To find we'd gone from inch to mil at the spanner sale
I was...workin' with my drill upstairs when I...got a bout of solar glare
I said, oh no, eyes are all blurry, can't see now
Well I did not think and hurled it in the pool
And I'm never going back for my old tool.

Only sanders...smooth a top side of door
Soon I'll hang it in the room with the Chippendale
I can't sand it...chuckin' it about the floor
Givin' it a thorough clean is the Holy Grail
Well I...see a little but I don't know, it's lookin'...like it's down to melt an' glow
I said, oh no, pupils are hurtin', can't see now
Well I did not think and hurled it in the pool
And I'm never going back for my old tool.

Angle grinder...tumbles into my tea
And I had to pray to just miss the Chippendale
Fried and wet through...it's a goner just wait an' see
But I will never get one new, I'm a pay less male
Well I...see a little but I don't know, it's lookin'...like it's down to melt an' glow
I said, oh no, pupils are hurtin', can't see now
Well I did not think and hurled it in the pool
And I'm never going back for my old tool.