Well, some evil bugger shot off my hand
Coulda sworn those big-ass shotguns were banned
I was scared because they just didn't care
I was fond of having those bits downstairs
Goons to the left of me
Minions to the right, now I am
Stuck in a big metal suit

Yes I'm stuck in a big metal suit
And it makes me look a bit of a fruit
These directives that they've put in my head
Well, duh! They didn't need to be said
Thugs to the left of me
Villains to the right, now I am
Stuck in a big metal suit

Well I left for work this morning
They turned me into a man-made man
Now the perps all start a-shakin'
When I lift my gun and say
Freeze.... freeze...

I'm trying to arrest Mr. Jones
But he calls in an ED 2-oh-9 drone
Such a shame we're on the 33rd floor
'Cause there's stairs and I think it may fall
Guns to the left of me,
Rockets to the right, here I am,
Stuck in a big metal suit

Well I left for work this morning
They turned me into a man-made man
Now the perps all start a-shakin'
When I lift my gun and say
Freeze.... freeze...

Now, I heard that Dick is gonna be fired
It's about time the old codger retired
So directive four has gone out the door
And old Jonesey won't be breathin' no more
He stood in front of me
Now he's all bloody, 'cause I
Can't seem to miss when I shoot

Yes I'm, stuck in a big metal suit
Stuck in a big metal suit
Here I am, stuck in a big metal suit