well, i guess my wife's been cookin' tonight
i know by smellin' that something ain't right
i'm so scared by fare she mighta prepared
and i'm wonderin' if its too much to bear
crepes to the left of me
flapjacks to the right
here they are
stuck on the griddle till fused

yes, they're...stuck on the griddle till fused
and i'm thinkin' that she wound up confused
they're so hard that they are fried there in place
i enjoy at times but not in this case
eggs to the left of me
waffles to the right
here they are
stuck on the griddle till fused

well, this meal she wound up muffin'
till it wasn't fit to feed a man
so for take-out, i'll be callin'
slip out through the back
and i'll ea-ea-ea-ea-eat
ea-ea-ea-ea-eat

so in love, am i, with this doll
but her cookin' skills make no sense at all
and the mess she makes is hard to ignore
i cringe when she brings stuff from the store
ham to the left of me
pancakes to the right
here they are
stuck on the griddle till fused
stuck on the griddle till fused
here they are
stuck on the griddle till fused