[Guitar intro}

*Well I don't know why I shopped here tonight
All the customers are packed real tight
I'm so scared Santa will croak in his chair
And the rugrats keep on pulling his hair*

**Stores lined a mile from me
Shoppers from behind
Here I am
Stuck in the mall with some dudes**

Yes I'm stuck in the mall with some dudes
And I feel I'm gonna display a 'tude
It's so hard to keep my temper in check
When the mall cops all are giving me heck

Stores lined a mile from me
Shoppers from behind
Here I am
Stuck in the mall with some dudes

***Well I started off with nothing
And now I'm ending with a little less
And my angry wife was calling
From the other side to yell
Please (*Wife*:"Let's go home")!
Please (*Wife*:"Let's go home")!***

[guitar solo]

Christmas shopping makes no sense at all
All this shoving just to bring home a doll
Must be cool 'cause I need a loan to buy
All the damned thing wants to do is cry

**Repeat

***Repeat

*Repeat

**Repeat

Yes, I'm stuck in the mall with some dudes
Stuck in the mall with some dudes
Why am I stuck in the mall with some dudes?