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Song Parodies -> "The Mailman Can"
Original Song Title:
"The Candy Man"
Original Performer:
Sammy Davis Jr.
Parody Song Title:
"The Mailman Can"
Parody Written by:
Claude Prez
The Lyrics
Question: How do you screw up a sweeet government monopoly to the point where you're nearly bankrupt? Here's half the answer (somewhat exaggerated). I'd go into the other half but "The Bloated Management Bureaucracy Man" isn't very catchy.
Who can send your rent check
Off to Zanzibar
Find it eight months later when you're living in your car
The mailman
Oh, the mailman can
The mailman can and he whizzes in your yard it makes your ferns grow good
Who can blast your guard dog
With his pepper spray
Even if it's tied up and it cannot get away
The mailman
Oh, the mailman can
The mailman can and he gets him in the eyes because it feels so good
The mailman sports
Funny-looking shorts
House to house a path he's beating
With his bag and friendly greeting
It's a lot like trick-or-treating
Who can take his lunch break
Stretch it into two
Laughing at his boss because there's nothing he can do
The mailman
Oh, the mailman can
The mailman can cause the union gets its way and screws the world real good
The mailman takes
Lots of extra breaks
Sits around upon his tushie
Talk about a job that's cushy
You could say that he's a wussy
Who can take your parcel
Throw it in your pool
Blame it on a neighbor kid who shoulda been in school
The mailman
Oh, the mailman can
The mailman can cause they can't dismiss his butt the way they wish they could
Off to Zanzibar
Find it eight months later when you're living in your car
The mailman
Oh, the mailman can
The mailman can and he whizzes in your yard it makes your ferns grow good
Who can blast your guard dog
With his pepper spray
Even if it's tied up and it cannot get away
The mailman
Oh, the mailman can
The mailman can and he gets him in the eyes because it feels so good
The mailman sports
Funny-looking shorts
House to house a path he's beating
With his bag and friendly greeting
It's a lot like trick-or-treating
Who can take his lunch break
Stretch it into two
Laughing at his boss because there's nothing he can do
The mailman
Oh, the mailman can
The mailman can cause the union gets its way and screws the world real good
The mailman takes
Lots of extra breaks
Sits around upon his tushie
Talk about a job that's cushy
You could say that he's a wussy
Who can take your parcel
Throw it in your pool
Blame it on a neighbor kid who shoulda been in school
The mailman
Oh, the mailman can
The mailman can cause they can't dismiss his butt the way they wish they could
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 3 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 2 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 7 | 3 | 4 | ||||||||
| 5 | 34 | 37 | 36 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Excellent, Claude. Give it to those Mail Chauvinists. You really mailed this one. Umm... I'll think of some more, just a sec... Doh. Excellent, Claude.
How could anyone not like this? Might there be a little first person in this one Claude?
your parodies are always exceptional, Claude
555 worth of postage!
LOL, Claude.
This parody has "MAJOR HIT" stamped all over its plain brown wrapper!
Great, Claude. Reminds me of Newman on Seinfeld, taking a lunch break and stretching it into two. High 5's
Hey thanks everybody. Perhaps a little first person here but I don't actually work with anyone like this. Any more. Also I'm having a serious case of that submitter's remorse; if I'd waited one more day I'd have used: "The mailman gits/ lots of benefits/ any little thing he wishes/ Talk about a pile of riches/ You should hear the way he bitches".
excellent Claude really funny one ....
HAHAHA...this is brilliant...and true, as well....5s
Outstanding parody, Claude. Clever way of spoofing government monopolies and throwing in unions, too. Maybe I am missing something because everybody else is awarding you 5s, but I saw the pacing as a 4 because candy has one more syllable than mail.
But my question is - why does a monopoly like the US Post Office need to market itself by sponsoring a bicycle rider (Lance Armstrong)?
But my question is - why does a monopoly like the US Post Office need to market itself by sponsoring a bicycle rider (Lance Armstrong)?
EXCELLENT!!!!!! PARODY OF THE DAY!
When I first saw the title I thought it was gonna be a pass the censor sort of thing - "mailmen do it with a full bag" or something... ;-D
And John, where do you come from where 'mail' is only one syllable? :-O
And John, where do you come from where 'mail' is only one syllable? :-O
Are mailmen really this bad in America now?
Not at all. I've been fortunate to have the services of a great mailman for fifteen years or so. He's friendly, efficient, knows my kids, stops to chat when he can. Still a great parody, Claude; probably post office workers would laugh the loudest! d;:^)
No postage due on this little number. Excellent as always Claude. And this little return receipt will only cost you $5.55.
SOTM - Claude, you never cease to completely entertain throughout the entire read and this one was no exception. This is as good or better than your "Pee Our Test".
Here's a lazy mailman
He is now upset
He lost his only job because we use the internet
Still excellent, Claude. A true snow or high winds contender.
He is now upset
He lost his only job because we use the internet
Still excellent, Claude. A true snow or high winds contender.
(SOTM AUG) See above!
(SOTM) A toast to the host who can roast those lost posts! 5s
(aug o4 aotm) Pretty friggin' funny, Claude!
SOTM--Nice work, Claude...5s...
Postal Employees have played a large role in my life. (My best friend, my mom, a few others.) And they tell me its true.
(SOTM) lol, quite tasty
SOTM A very funny parody, Claude 5's
(SOTM) Wow, this was hilarious! Lots of really funny lines in this one. Great parody. 5's
Damn, I'm TOTALLY slacking if I can let a C4P parody slide by for a month and a half. But I hope that doesn't make you too, um, disgruntled. You're not packing heat, are you? Are you?!
My fave verse was the trick-or-treating one. I also like the one you tossed in after the fact. Finally, [insert lame "special delivery" compliment here].
My fave verse was the trick-or-treating one. I also like the one you tossed in after the fact. Finally, [insert lame "special delivery" compliment here].
Another one I can't believe I haven't commented on (on which I haven't commented?) - this one's really rather good... but would I really expect anything else?
(SOTM) Among us here, I guess that Arwen is the only one who can count on always getting any mail she wants at any time... ;-)
Well...I DO get whatever I want...whenever I want it...so...draw your own conclusions, K1...; )
Claude, I can honestly say I haven't laughed so much at a parody in a long time. This is my winner for August.
(SOTM) Comments above.
(AUG SOTM) Claude, LOL funny here - through the whole thing. 5's!
Damn I suck. Thanks to everyone who's commented that I've ignored completely for a great while; I do appreciate it.
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=1748;image
What Spaff said.
Actually, US postal service is not bad. But, I think the point of the parody, delivered with a lot of humor, is that if it were a private enterprise run like FedEx, it would be better. Very well done, Claude.
Still very funny. Still like the first stanza the most.
Getting to this "nine months late" like the rent check. As a letter carrier, I can only say "sad but true". There are two powerful groups in the Postal Service : the carrier union and the monolithic, nepotistic bureaucracy. They struggle daily to see who can sink the Post Office faster. At least my customers recognize *they* come first with me.
Thanks Don; you're exactly right.
Abig hit at my buddy the mail carriers roast. Very funny and appropriate for the day
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