Where, oh where, we're you that night?
Why did you leave me here on the phone?
I searched the trailer park over, but I only found my bloodhound
Then came along some white trash and Dang! it was yer Ma!

She brought over two beers, had her bosoms unlaced
Sat on the yard couch and we started to suck face
I missed you so much, but I guess you escaped
My truck was gone and Oh how my heart ached!

She lap danced me all over, let down her hair
Dropped her Daisy Dukes and pushed me down there
We were humpin' and bumping'- yeah, I shoulda been scared
You were not there and yer Ma was so bare!

Yee haw! We screwed in that old plastic chair!

I told you, my darlin', be faithful until death
You broke that promise, and I didn't forget
I married your Mama and now I'm yer Daddy
Moved the trailer to a new lot, put up a picket fence!

Yer Mama's now with child, your new sister almost here
Been almost 9 months since you disappeared
Wonder if you're in the Big House moanin' my dear
Smokin' some cigs and turnin' all queer!

When you come back, I sure 'nough won't be here!
Gonna go huntin' and shoot me a deer!