Is this a real fart, Is this a shart you see
Caught in my knickers, that escapes from poor nipsy
Don’t open your fly, I just don’t want to seeeee
Oh my poor gusset, Might need new pants you see
Cause I had to fart had to blow, was it wet, don’t want to know
Funny how this wind blows does it really matter, poor meeee

Mama, I had to fart,
Put some pressure on my arse
Felt the wind and something else
Mama, my day has just begun,
But know My pants are suspect in an awful way.
Momma…I think I need to cry
If what I find is there I’ll need to borrow…ooo ooo ooo,
Carry on, carry on filled with faecal matter
Too late, I felt it come
Send rivers down my thigh, pulled it back but not in time
Goodbye to my undies, they’ve got to go
My poor old behind has to face the truth
Mama…oh…crap. I want to dieeeee


I see a little silhouette of a shart
Did a fart, Did a fart Now I got pants with poo
Toilet bowls and wiping, very, very frighting me
Fart oh no, Fart don’t blow, you should see my Fandango
Diarrhea (diarrhea), diarrhea (diarrhea) diarrhea whydya flowwww
(Pity the poor boy, pant filled with gravy)
Pity the poor boy and his poor lavatory
Spare me the shame from this colonoscopy
Easy fart, easy blow, whyda it have to flow
Yes fillem up, your knickers have to go
(Have to go) Filled up, knickers have to go
(Have to go) Filled up, knickers have to go
(Have to go) Knickers have to go
(Have to go) Knickers have to go
(Have to go) Oh crap, oh no,shit, no, no, no, no, no
Beelzebub has a dunny put aside for me, for me, for meeeeee.

So you think you can fart and just keep you dacks dry
So you think you can fart and just leave it behind
Ohhhooho Baby, just cant do this to me baby
Just gotta go now, just gotta go right now…get febreeze….

I hate Faecal matter, can anybody see
I hate Faecal Matter
I hate Faecal Matter
I hate the way my wind blowsssssssssssss