‘Twas at a picnic
Had some real good food
And played games in the park.
But soon we were all just floored.
Something went wrong.
It wasn’t those ants that hoard;
Old lady she was just zonked out of her gourd.
She never did say why she ate a fly
But she did flip her lid
By not stopping there but
Going on to eat more weird stuff.

It seems once she ate that fly
Then she grabbed a spider fast
Into her mouth it was cast.
She did it to catch the fly
It wriggled, tickled, jiggled down her throat.
Needed Pepto-o-o
Her stomach was not right
But clearly worse was her brain as she scrambled
Up a tree, and then she
Absurdly swallowed a bird.

To try green eggs and ham
Would be a better fate
Than having all that lady ate,
Even then I would really need some ketchup fast.
Even ketchup would not hide the mighty woe
We felt, no no no no,
As we watched her eat.
For after that she needed to catch that bird;
No time flat, ate a cat
That only wanted to play.

As if that wasn’t enough guess what she did.
Grabbed a dog, what a hog, she swallowed it to catch the cat.
A dog can catch a cat, some can in no time flat, yet,
logic says it must be,
Big ‘nough or cat can flee
To catch dog power is key.
But what she ate to catch the dog made no sense to anyone.
She ran into a field as a farmer looked shocked,
Opened her throat and she swallowed a goat.
He said something must be done, someone called nine-one-one,
Got struck dumb, there in her tum that day, what a fray,
She said she’d not let us allay, cow at play
Was her choice to catch the goat that day, right away.
And, I don’t know how, don’t know how,
But she ate a cow, ate a cow
How, now, she swallowed brown cow?
Cow can’t catch, cow can’t catch goat that couldn’t catch a dog
Yet she gulped that cow to catch the goat and oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.

As her insides went boom like the Fourth of July,
As her insides saw a big mess begun with a fly
We asked why, why’d she swallow that fly.
And yet she opened, she opened her mouth one more time.

Told the paramedics
Logic’s not in force.
Told the paramedics
She’s swallowed a horse.

And now she’s dead of course