Neanderthal Rhapsody

How do these fights start?
Don’t think it could be me
I’m good with punchlines
Do I say things haphazardly?
Open my eyes, I guess that it’s wise to flee
I’m not a smartass, I need some sympathy
Because I say the things on my mind, the wrong words, the wrong time
Any way her mood goes, I should keep my mouth closed, or be, sor-ry

Oh no, it's done again
Wife says she’s fat and ug-ly, needs a compliment from me
Honey, just from where I stand
Looks like your eyes can still see perfectly
Baby, what the hell, why you go and get so mad?
I swear I don’t know how these fights get started
I don’t know, could be me, I guess I’ll do better next time

Here goes, another chance
Her birthday hint you see, wants a gift fast and shine-y
Zero to two hundred, real fast you know
So I thought she would enjoy a brand new scale
Mama, she’s real pissed! (Any way her mood goes) Says I’m gonna die!
I sometimes think she begins fights just for fun

(Instrumental)

We’re watching TV in the master bedroom
Millionaire, Millionaire, we are watching a game show
Then I ask my wife please, would you have some sex with me?
(She says hell no) She says “Hell no!”
(She says hell no) She says “Hell no!”
She says “Hell no! Don’t think so!"
And so it go-o-oes!
I made her angry, but still I ask her
That your final answer? I ask her nicely
She says “Yes, that is my final answer”
So I say nicely I’d like to phone a friend
Wifezilla! “What! You’d like to phone a friend?”
(Phone a friend!) Wifezilla! “You will not phone a friend!”
(A girlfriend!) Wifezilla! “I’ll pound you to no end!”
(Let me phone!) “Will not phone a friend!”
(A girlfriend!) “Will not have girlfriend!” (Let me pho-o-one!)
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no!”
Oh mama mia, bad idea! (Mama mia, deal is blown!)
"I tell you bub, you've a devil of a time from me, you’ll be, sor-ry!"

So you think you can pound me and blacken my eye?
So you think you’ll deny me and give me no pie?
Oh, baby, what’d I do to you, baby?
“Just gotta shut mouth, just gotta shut big mouth, my dear”

Don’t know how these fights start, maybe I can see
Might know how these fights start
I know how these fights start, it's me

Anyway…her mood blows…