This thing called "gun," he just can't handle it,
This thing called "gun," he wheeled around and fired it.
He is deadly,
Cheney carrying a gun.

This thing (this thing)
Called man (called man)
Don't fly (like a birdy)
No, a man don't take flight.
Shots sting (ow! ow!)
Like hives (ow! ow!)
Appears a puss that's been pocked with pellets.
It's kinda fright'ning--
Cheney carrying a gun.

There goes Dick Cheney. . .
Don't know how to lock and load
Or use the safety.
Now his victim's got a fever
And pellets penetrated his chest.

[short drum solo, sounding like a heartbeat]

Dick, it isn't cool to whack your friends.
Not in the back,
At least, did your shot strike,
But his face looks like it's been honed with spikes.
It is deadly,
Cheney carrying a gun.

This thing called "gun," he just can't handle it.
Is Harry done? Don't look like Cheney really gives a sh*t.
He is deadly,
Cheney carrying a gun. [repeat and fade]