NIFTY WAYS TO SEE AUSTRALIA

Come, yobbos! Our soil is wide and red.
We're young and free.
Our sands and our seas will have you,
Naked on the beach.
Go hike a hill or see our jungle,
It's all free!
A must, these nifty ways
To see Australia.

So have you ever shot a rabbit?
Had one stewed?
Surfed a board or heard the Dreaming?
Gotten lost in Kakadu?
Hot as the heat of hell,
Have your blisters peeling, dude.
A must, these nifty ways
To see Australia.
Nifty ways to see Australia.

You should check out the Reef, Keith
Head on outback, Jack
You'll get tanked on VB, Lee
Around the bar-bie
There's Uluru, Lou
And a few kangaroos, too
The bridge in Syd-ney, Dee
And lotsa gum trees

All you citizens of
Those higher-ranked world powers
Go book first-class tickets to this strange
And wide brown land of ours
You can surf and sniff our pinots
See our glorious wildflowers
You'll find out why those
Wiggles are so happy

Or you could just turn on your
Big plasma TV set
And you'll tune in to that show "bout
Bush tucker etiquette
Steve Irwin's doing
Something dumb that he'll probably regret
"A croc-burger please Steve, and make it snappy"
(Watch your kid! - He's still in nappies!)

Keep your eyes out for sharks, Mark
Crocodile smiles, Miles
Redbacks live on the loo, Pru
Watch out when ya pee
Snakes in the grass, Lars
So don't act like a smartarse
You'll find that you'll be, Bea
In cas-u-al-ty!

So you got a sunburn, Vern
Drank too much booze, Cruz
Then upchucked in a truck, Buck
Wombat bit ya crotch
Lost at the bingo, Ringo
And got chased by a din-go
Of course you'll be back, Jacques
You love it too much!