You want more than bread
to complement your fricassee.
Answer might be located
in a menagerie.
I have a new take
on haute cuisine, i.e.:
There must be 50 ways
to feast on Rover.

You could try rabbit,
though it might be tough when chewed.
Some people think it’s good eating;
I say that it’s not the best food.
You oughta change your
gastronomic attitude.
There must be 50 ways
to eat cored Rover.
Fifty ways to feed on Rover.

Just have him as a snack, Jack;
sauté in a pan, Stan.
He might be a good boy, Roy,
but it’s time to eat.
Yeah, he’s a nice mutt, but…
you have gotta fill your gut.
You want for cuisine beans
and sad collard greens?

You don’t want to fast, Cass…
not eat wheat bran, Fran.
Do not think about koi, Roy—
sounds pretty fishy.
Whip up au jus, Bruce;
forget about that fat goose.
It’s best to eat lean, Jeanne…
lean meat’s what I mean.

You know that you are gonna
have a feast tonight.
It’s time to get out the Corning Ware
and set the stove alight.
This is a thrifty way to have yourself
some sweet, delicious bites.
There must be 50 ways
to heat up Rover.
Fifty ways to feast on Rover.

You’ll have a fine repast, Cass,
not food from cans, Dan,
lean meat to enjoy, Roy,
canine’s a fine feast.
Time to degust, Gus;
the low cost is a big plus.
Make the dining scene, Gene,
while saving some green.

Fine-dine you won’t lack, Mack…
don’t have to bag stag—
no gats to deploy, Roy—
duck the hunting scene.
Just dine on mutt; gut
will be full as a wine butt.
It’s gonna be seen, Dean,
this beats goat cuisine.