There once was a man named Burt Reynolds
Who personified macho with his hairy chest
He was a sex god who stole many a woman's heart
Back then, body hair was manly, it was up there with pinstripe vests

Now we have Ashton Kucher, among many hairless stars
Men who somehow have no follicles in their pores
The in crowd put themselves through surgery, electrolysis & fire
They think it makes them sexy, but they end up scarred & sore

leavin em

Hairless Hairless Hairless Hairless

Baby can you hear me now?

Hairless Hairless Hairless Hairless

The hairy patient is locked & chained behind the door

Baby scream with me somehow

Blue blue tummies of groaning stars
Red Red skin swelling on the rise
Big Bird's laughing across the sky
Thankful he's a bird instead of a hairy guy

leavin em

Hairless Hairless Hairless Hairless