It won't be easy; you'll think it's strange, when I try to admit that I'm fat.
That I still am this large after all that I've done.
You will believe me.
All you will see is a big pretzel butt, that's stuck on the backside of me,
That's the size of a large blimp.

I had to let it happen, I had to change: couldn't spend all my life being fat.
Looking into the mirror staring at my big butt.
So I chose diet.
Running around trying everything new, but I never seemed to loose weight.
I never expected I would.

Don't cry for me pretzel butt, the truth is I never like you.
Although you diet, oh yes you've diet it, you are still fat.
How do you like that?

And as for Weight Watchers, and Jenny Craig, they didn't work for me at all.
Though it seemed to the world I was getting thinner.
They are illusions,
They're not the solutions that they promised to be. The answer was here all the time:
Binge eating and skipping meals.

Don't cry for me pretzel butt, the truth is I never like you.
Although you diet, oh yes you've diet it, you are still fat.
How do you like that?

Do I weigh too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to loose that weight.
But all you will have to do is look at me, to know that I am fat...

Don't cry for me pretzel butt, the truth is I never like you.
Although you diet, oh yes you've diet it, you are still fat.
How do you like that?