The legend lives on from the Patxuet on down
of the land that they call Mos-we-tu-set.
The Pilgrims, it's said, were starved nearly to dead
'til old Squanto showed them how to do it.

With a load of good corn, a hundred and one shorn
of the hunger they'd had since arrival.
The Pilgrims and Braves, they gave thanks for the save
and it's become a once-each-year revival.

The day is the pride of the American side
from Cape Cod out to Bay San Francisco.
And Moms and Grandmas should get lots of applause
as they use Land O' Lakes and some Crisco!

Concluding their buys with their supermarket guys
so they get their pies and their fresh turkey.
The keep their flames low and they cook their birds slow
so the meals of November are perky!

But it seems that some clowns make their tattletale sounds
as they ride down the Interstate asphalt.
There's always one guest who is not at his best
always complains that your food needs more salt!

It was my Mom's fate that my arrival was late
as I watched football game at my high school.
We're crushed once again, by our rivals, not friends
as our coach's game plan made him big fool!

When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck
saying, "Rats, the parade I did not tape!"
At 7 PM, at the table, set in
and it looks like the turkey's in good shape.

But Uncle Phil sat and he wanted to chat
and he gave me one heck of a ribbing.
And later that night I'd wanna punch out his light
as he's wrecking our day of Thanksgiving!

Does anyone know, where's the mashed potatoes
as Aunt Bev's stories seem to last hours?
I'm starting to muse on what weapons she used
how three husbands she's now put behind her!

My pants have split up, no more wine in our cup
while both Phil and Bev maintain their blather.
And all that remains is my sister's and my pains
as Mom criticizes son and daughter!

We went through the woods, and a river that stood
as our Mom has now become the Nana.
And Dad's a cool gent, but he's losing patience
'cause she's driving everyone bananas!

And farther below, sis says, "We gotta go"
'cause her husband is getting a migraine.
I know how he feels, but Mom says, "What's the deal?
You still obsessing over that ballgame?"

In a musty old house in New Jersey, say Grace
knowing you're not about to get thinner.
And old Uncle John says Obama shouldn't have won.
That's the wreck of the Thanksgiving dinner!

The legend lives on, how our family went wrong
on the fourth Thursday in month November.
Posterior, it's said, they're a pain in, when fed
and they're gonna make me lose my temper!