I remember every little zinger like I heard her only yesterday
Barking in a place where there were hardly any brothers in sight
And I never saw a gal stooping any lower than she did
All the Dittohead tools they were thinking she was sweet that night

And wow her party’s so old and gross and white
They didn’t look too good they didn’t look too bright
And now they’re foaming like they’re mental for the eskimo’s wife
Foaming like they’re mental for the eskimo’s wife
C’mon! Holy cripes!
C’mon! Holy cripes!

Though she’s cold and homely when she wields that knife
I can see Sarah shines with the Whackjob Right

Ain’t no doubt about it, she was badly tressed
And her girl of seventeen could barely fit her dress
Ain’t no doubt about it, Amy Winehouse musta been shouting
Ain’t no doubt about it, she was badly tressed
And her girl of seventeen could barely fit her dress

The Lady doesn’t have a heart, she lost it downing all those caribou
She’s been waiting so long to shoot up all the rungs and be the one
And God she oughta know, oh, you bet she should regret it
So low to publicize a daughter’s big surprise
But her dream coulda died..had to knock the crazy rumors down

And wow her party’s so old and gross and white
They didn’t look too good they didn’t look too bright
And now they’re foaming like they’re mental for the eskimo’s wife
Foaming like they’re mental for the eskimo’s wife
C’mon! Holy cripes!
C’mon! Holy cripes!

Though she’s cold and homely when she wields that knife
I can see Sarah shines with the Whackjob Right
Cold and homely when she wields that knife…
Sarah shines with the Whackjob Right

They had to boost an old man
And yes Sarah Palin’s new and fresh
But there ain’t no doubt about it she was badly tressed
And her girl of seventeen could barely fit her dress

She’s gonna prop John McCain up right, she’s gonna prop up McCain with the Right-to-Lifes…
She’s gonna prop John McCain up right, she’s gonna prop up McCain with the Right-to-Lifes…
She’s gonna prop John McCain up right, she’s gonna prop up McCain with the Right-to-Lifes…
She’s gonna prop John McCain up right, she’s gonna prop up McCain with the Right-to-Lifes…
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Larry King: OK, here we go, great show for you tonight, great panel, your phone calls, discussing the stunning turn of events that led John McCain to turn to Sarah Palin. David Gergen, what do you make of all this?

David Gergen: Well, Larry, if this were a baseball game, it’s as if the McCain team was being shut out going into the ninth inning and clearly headed for a series-clinching loss. He needed a home run, and he wasn’t gonna get it from any of his regulars… none of them has much pop, they all swing from the right side of the plate, and Obama had best righty, Joe Biden, out there pitching to them.

James Carville: Larry, you figure McCain hadda be thinkin’ about bringin’ in a switch-hitter like Joe Lieberman, to get hisself a better match-up…Joe’s an ol’ buzzard, but a tough sumbitch to strike out, and he gets a holda one now and agin. And sho nuff, we seen the old goat get off the bench headin’ to the bat rack, but then all hell broke loose in that dugout like I ain’t seen since Hillary caught wind of Bill’s late-night pizza parties and started hurlin’ them heavy ashtrays around the place.

Gergen: And, and, and, and, and when the dust settled, Larry, John McCain wound up sending a righty to the plate after all, and an unknown, unproven rookie at that.

Jeffrey Toobin: And she delivered, Larry. As a result, this series is far from over. This could go the limit. Unlike the 4th Amendment, Larry, the McCain team is alive and well.

The King: We can only wonder what really happened in that dugout…. we’ll ponder that as we go to break. Back in a moment with our panel….and your calls! Stay with us.
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He was stopped right there -- by the Dobson crowd:
“Before we pull any levers…do you love Him? Are you a Pro-Life believer?
And your VP? Will he bow to Jesus?
Will you make us all happy and protect unborn life,
will you take on the gays, will you make them take wives?”

“Do you love Him? Are you a Pro-Life believer?
And your VP? Will he bow to Jesus?
Will you make us all happy and protect unborn life,
will you take on the gays, will you make them take wives?
We gotta know right now, before we pull any levers --
do you love Him, do you love Him in Heaven?”

I want Lieberman, McCain is saying, How ‘bout Lieberman?
I like Lieberman, just give him a pass, he’s pro-abortion…
I want Lieberman, McCain is saying, How ‘bout Lieberman?
I like Lieberman, just give him a pass, he’s pro-abortion…
I want Lieberman, McCain keeps saying, How ‘bout Lieberman?
I like Lieberman, just give him a pass, he’s pro-abortion…

“JOE’S GOTTA GO RIGHT NOW!
He doesn’t love Him! He’s not a Pro-Life believer!
He can’t be VP! He doesn’t bow to Jesus!
He won’t make us all happy, won’t protect unborn life,
he won’t take on the gays, he won’t make them take wives!
He’s gotta GO RIGHT NOW – or we won’t pull any levers…
’cause we love Him…and you’ll lose us forever.”

“What’s it gonna be, John? Come on…we can pray all night.
What’s it gonna be, John, peace or war?
What’s it gonna be, John...peace or war?”

I want Lieberman…McCain keeps saying, How ‘bout Lieberman?
I want Lieberman…just give him a pass, he’s pro-abortion…

“We said NO WAY, NO HOW!
He doesn’t love Him! He’s not a Pro-Life believer!”
I want Lieberman… McCain keeps saying, How ‘bout Lieberman?
“He can’t be VP! He doesn’t bow to Jesus!”
I want Lieberman…
“He won’t make us all happy, won’t protect unborn life.."
I want Lieberman… I wish you’d all chill out on abortion…
"...he won’t take on the gays, he won’t make them take wives!”
…abortion…you’re zealots on abortion!

“Joe’s gotta go right now – or we won’t pull any levers…
‘cause we love Him…and you’ll lose us forever.”

I want Lieberman… “Will you look at our Sarah?”
I want Lieberman… “Will you look at our Sarah?”

He couldn’t sway them, they were stronger -- Lord they were crazed!
But then their greenbacks rained upon him like a tidal wave
He started staring at her bod, he watched her work the stage,
They could lose but he‘d still have a great time --
For sure the girl could lug him to the finish line

So now John’s praying for election time to hurry up and arrive...
‘Cause if the public learns about her sinister views,
he doesn’t think those independents will buy
He’s gonna paint Obama as a leftist coward,
And God only knows he’s gonna use those Towers!
He’s praying for election time, that’s all the guy can do....
Praying for election time before we sense the slimy truth

It was long ago when he had maverick ways
But he’s polling better with a chick today

She never felt so good it never felt so right
'Cause they were foaming like they’re mental for the eskimo’s wife