The prices are dropping and the floors are shining
Way down in the Walmart tonight
There's a man in the shadows with a gleam in his eye
And a box cutter oh so bright
There's perfume in the air and there's Pepsi in the aisle
And a shopper on a motor cart
And down in the garage where the airguns are working
Oh I swear I saw an old man
Wanting an oil change
He was starting to grasp at his heart

Oh Wally you're the only store in this whole world
That's pure and good and cheap
My blood sugar's low and blood pressure rising
Need to go home and get some sleep
But I gotta buy it
I gotta buy it right now
Before the people flood the aisles
So I gotta load the cart full of useless merchandise
When it's filled up I know
I'll so be full of smiles

Like a guppy on sale
I'll be dead by the time I'm home
When the day is over
Like a guppy on sale I'll be dead dead dead
Like a guppy on sale I'll be dead by the time I'm home
When the store is closed
And the doors are locked
And the parking lot's empty
Then like Jeff Gordon reaching the Brickyard finish *
I'll be driving right back to you

I'm gonna hit the deli like a demon from hell
With a silver grey shopping cart
When the metal is hot and the little wheels turning
Just gotta have those blueberry tarts
No mold ever grows on the tasty old rolls
And the lunchmeat is covered with frost
The cheddar's really good
Though the provolone blows
But ev'rything's worth the cost

And I know that I'm broke if I never get out
And maybe I'm broke if I do
But with any other coins I got left in my purse
I know I'd rather be broke with you
If I gotta be broke you know I wanna be broke
Shopping in the store with you
If I gotta be broke you know I wanna be broke
Gotta be broke you know I wanna be broke
If I gotta be broke you know I wanna be broke
Shopping in the store
Shopping in the store
Shopping in the store with you

Oh Wally you're the only store in this whole world
That's pure and good and cheap
My blood sugar's low and blood pressure rising
Need to go home and get some sleep
But I gotta buy it
I gotta buy it right now
Before the people flood the aisles
So I gotta load the cart full of useless merchandise
When it's filled up I know
I'll so be full of smiles

Like a guppy* on sale
I'll be dead by the time I'm home
When the day is over
Like a guppy on sale I'll be dead, dead, dead
Like a guppy on sale I'll be dead by the time I'm home
But when the store is closed
And the doors are locked
And the parking lot's empty
Then like Jeff Gordon reaching the Brickyard finish
I'll be driving right back to you
Then like Jeff Gordon reaching the Brickyard finish
I'll be driving right back to you

I can see myself
Rushing down the aisles
Faster than any other soul has ever shopped
And my purse is bare but my cart is full
No credit's gonna stop me now
I gotta buy those dishes
But I cant stop looking at books
And I never saw the "Bra Sale" sign that was in my way
And I never saw the "Bra Sale" sign that was in my way

Then I'm lying near the bottom of a pit of cheap DVDs
Worn and weary at the wheels of a bent up cart
And I think some section somewhere must be having a sale
And the last thing I hear is my phone
It's ringing
Ringing out of my handbag
And fading away
Like a guppy on sale

Then I'm lying near the bottom of a pit of cheap DVDs
Worn and weary at the wheels of a bent up cart
And I think some section somewhere must be having a sale
And the last thing I hear is my phone
It's ringing
It's ringing
Ringing out of my handbag and fading away
Like a guppy on sale
Like a guppy on sale
Like a guppy on sale
Like a guppy on sale
Like a guppy on sale
Like a guppy on sale