I beg your pardon
You're real obnoxious with that nose fartin'
Along with the sneezin'
Your allergies are not a good reason
When you honk, you gotta go
So blow a bit low
I beg your pardon
You're real obnoxious with that nose fartin'

Oh, take that stuffy head, here's some Sudafed
And don't sniff those roses, stay away from that pollen
And for work don't you dare call in!
Well, if throat hackin' you, would just get a clue
You should take some Nyquil right now with a shot of whisky
But you say it's risky
So snooze for a while so I'll have quiet
Life shouldn't be a nasal riot
Get some help and spare the Kleenex in the can

I beg your pardon
You're real obnoxious with that nose fartin'
Along with the sneezin'
Your allergies are not a good reason

(sound effect solo)

I beg your pardon
You're real obnoxious with that nose fartin'

When you sing me a tune, it sounds like a bassoon
And the whole house just shakes from tootin'
Run from the room when you blow, with the dog, cat and children in tow
I just can't get any sleep, I'm ready to weep
How I wish there was a modern drug to help you out
I Think I'd rather you had the gout
So snooze for a while so I'll have quiet
Life shouldn't be a nasal riot
Get some help and spare the Kleenex in the can

I beg your pardon
You're real obnoxious with that nose fartin'
Along with the sneezin'
Your allergies are not a good reason