I beg your pardon, I never promised you a beer garden.
Along with the moonshine, you’ve gotta be a little dry sometimes.
When you drink you can’t drive so give me the keys, oh let go-o-o-o-o,
I beg your pardon, You’re not driving me to Wiesbaden!

I could promise you drinks like Singapore slings,
But you don't find Irish Rose in a case of Old Overholt,
Better hold your white lightning bolt!
Well if Long Island Tea could make a Bee’s Knees
I would give you a Yellow Bird with a ´Bama Slammer
Then I’d watch you stammer!

You’ll smile for a while and act real jolly,
Then you’ll turn so melancholy,
You’ll even chug down a Wolfram if you can!
I beg your pardon, I never promised you a beer garden.
Along with the moonshine, you’ve gotta be a little dry sometimes.
I beg your pardon, you’re not driving me to Saarbrücken!

I could burn you a spoon with absinthe and blue moon,
But if you wanna go home tonight, I'd just as soon leave you here,
With your boilermaker beer.

You’d better look before you leap, those beer vats are deep,
And there wasn’t anybody there to pull Clancy out,
Like Ray Stevens sang about!
He smiled for a while and looked real jolly,
The rest of us were melancholy,
That’s when we saw the good times finally end.

I beg your pardon, I never promised you a beer garden.
Along with the moonshine, you gotta be a little sober sometimes.
I beg your pardon, You’re never driving me to Erlangen!
You’re packin’ moonshine ….