“My Old Man’s a Banker”

A parody on ‘My Old Man’s a Dustman’ with apologies to Lonnie Donegan.

Now here's a little story
Too tell it is a must
Of the avaricious bankers
That we were told to trust
Some people make a fortune
others make a mint
My old man is one of those,
While the rest of you are skint

Oh, my old man's a banker
He wears a bowler hat
He wears long pinstripe trousers
He’s known as a big fat cat

Now speculation’s not a sin
It cost him not a penny
The funds that my old man makes use of
Just belong to many
Your pension funds and savings too
End up in one big pot
He then speculates with greed
And blows the blooming lot

Oh, my old man's a banker
He wears a bowler hat
He wears long pinstripe trousers
He’s known as a big fat cat

This section to be spoken
“I say I say ‘darling’’,
“Could you let us have some funds”,
“Why not my dears dip in, we have plenty”
“But isn’t it tax payers money?”
“Yes, but some think it belongs to the Government”

The Bankers went with cap in hand
The lost funds to replace
Just theirs of course, but none of yours
It was a damned disgrace
The bonuses and salaries
With ease could now be paid
But business loans and mortgages
Were no longer made

Oh, my old man's a banker
He wears a bowler hat
He wears long pinstripe trousers
He’s known as a big fat cat

Oh, my old man's a banker
With a heart of stone
When threatened with a bonus cut
It really made him moan
He said he’d go abroad to work
And you all said hooray
No matter what the out-come
You know who’ll have to pay