The Cardies don't dance and the Pope-a don't rock and roll
The Cardies don't dance and the Pope-a don't rock and roll
If you're gonna go to hell 'cause you listened to "Hells' Bells"
Where do you go to rock and roll?

The Card'nals say that you gotta live a moral life
You play "Runnin' with the Devil" and you're air guitarin', it's a sin
They say, "You sold your soul
'Cause you heard some rock 'n' roll, which is a sin"
I'll say it again

And it's all because
The Cardies don't dance and the Pope-a don't rock and roll
Yeah, the Cardies don't dance and the Pope-a don't rock and roll
When you plug in your SG and it's louder than a three
"You're sellin' your soul to rock and roll"

"You crank it to eleven
And your soul is null and void"
You heard a backwards message
In "Empty Spaces" by Pink Floyd
The music makes you move and it brings you to your knees
Then, "There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold"
"And she's buying a stairway --"
"Hey you! You're Excommunicated!"
Said Pope Benedict XVI

And it's all because
The Cardies don't dance and the Pope-a don't rock and roll
The Cardies don't dance and the Pope-a don't rock and roll
You hear "Stairway to Heaven," and the Pope calls you a heathen
Where do you go to rock and roll?
Where do you go to rock and roll?
Where do you go to rock and roll?