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Song Parodies -> "Riding My Segway To 'Heaven'"
Original Song Title:
"Stairway To Heaven"
Original Performer:
Led Zepplin
Parody Song Title:
"Riding My Segway To 'Heaven'"
Parody Written by:
Dee Range
The Lyrics
For our non-American friends who may not know these references:
Geico: an automobile insurance company whose "spokesman" is a talking gecko (A small green lizard)
7-Eleven: 24-hour convenience store
Evel Kinevel: Motorcycle daredevil famous for incredible leaps over objects (He died last month)
Nascar: Famous stock car season long race series
For those too young to remember, the Hindenburg was a German blimp that caught fire and burned, killing 97 people
Geico: an automobile insurance company whose "spokesman" is a talking gecko (A small green lizard)
7-Eleven: 24-hour convenience store
Evel Kinevel: Motorcycle daredevil famous for incredible leaps over objects (He died last month)
Nascar: Famous stock car season long race series
For those too young to remember, the Hindenburg was a German blimp that caught fire and burned, killing 97 people
RIDING MY SEGWAY TO 'HEAVEN'
"Get a scooter" I'm told
'Cause I'm brittle and old
So I'm riding this Segway: it's heaven
Though the stores are all closed
When I get there (it's slow!)
And I can't RE-call just what I came for
Oooooooh...woooh ooh ooh woooh
Guess I'll ride on to 7-Eleven
There's a light on the street
Is it red? is it green?
Hell, who cares...(Guess that's why I'm called "PSYCHO")
Grazed a tree by the brook
Then I fell in the drink
And I smashed that poor gecko from Geico
Ooooh, and it made me wonder...
Hmmmmm...Did he have insurance?
When I'm feeling like shit
Too tired to throw a fit
I just jump on my Segway and take off
As I cruise on my ride
Kids on trikes pass me by
And one smart ass yells "Gramps: take the brake off!"
Ohhhh...I start to smolder
Noooo....he won't get much older
Seg-way race coming soon
So I go get mine tuned
When they're done, this thing runs like a cruise ship
Now the riders all cheer
And thank God when we hear
That the winner of first place gets new hips
{ A little music as the whole nursing home lines up their Segways for the start of the race}
So now I hustle to the front row, just like in Nascar
I come out screaming for the race lead
When I see two paths where the road forks, I take the wrong one
And hit speed bumps with an evil skid
Just like Kinevel did...
My Segway's souped up but it won't fly
A fact I should know
I land like dummies in a test gig
Dear Jesus can you hear my legs break?
This I DO know:
My Segway flies like the Hindenburg did!
Launched from that speed bump in the road
The motor revs up and explodes
The world is suddenly aglow
I see white light don't want to go
I find these streets aren't made of gold
No pearly gates of old ST PETE
Would someone please turn down the heat?
When all is said and all is done
This afterlife just ain't much fun
And I'm finding the segue...ain't heaven!
"Get a scooter" I'm told
'Cause I'm brittle and old
So I'm riding this Segway: it's heaven
Though the stores are all closed
When I get there (it's slow!)
And I can't RE-call just what I came for
Oooooooh...woooh ooh ooh woooh
Guess I'll ride on to 7-Eleven
There's a light on the street
Is it red? is it green?
Hell, who cares...(Guess that's why I'm called "PSYCHO")
Grazed a tree by the brook
Then I fell in the drink
And I smashed that poor gecko from Geico
Ooooh, and it made me wonder...
Hmmmmm...Did he have insurance?
When I'm feeling like shit
Too tired to throw a fit
I just jump on my Segway and take off
As I cruise on my ride
Kids on trikes pass me by
And one smart ass yells "Gramps: take the brake off!"
Ohhhh...I start to smolder
Noooo....he won't get much older
Seg-way race coming soon
So I go get mine tuned
When they're done, this thing runs like a cruise ship
Now the riders all cheer
And thank God when we hear
That the winner of first place gets new hips
{ A little music as the whole nursing home lines up their Segways for the start of the race}
So now I hustle to the front row, just like in Nascar
I come out screaming for the race lead
When I see two paths where the road forks, I take the wrong one
And hit speed bumps with an evil skid
Just like Kinevel did...
My Segway's souped up but it won't fly
A fact I should know
I land like dummies in a test gig
Dear Jesus can you hear my legs break?
This I DO know:
My Segway flies like the Hindenburg did!
Launched from that speed bump in the road
The motor revs up and explodes
The world is suddenly aglow
I see white light don't want to go
I find these streets aren't made of gold
No pearly gates of old ST PETE
Would someone please turn down the heat?
When all is said and all is done
This afterlife just ain't much fun
And I'm finding the segue...ain't heaven!
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| 5 | 16 | 17 | 16 |
User Comments
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Loved it, loved it loved it! Oh, the images it put into my head..... this is hilarious, a top class 555 job!
segways are automatically funny....had me cracking up here
Just in time for the Zep reunion. DEElightful.
Wheely good...rolls right along
One of today's best... 5-5-5
A true American parody-tribute to Mr. E It really flies! And I loved the ending, too! ~CC
First, props for taking on this monster of an OS. Second, the idea is a good one as your parody title is already funny and it sets us up to be ready to laugh. Third, I loved it.
cool
Good stuff, Dee, but the Hindenburg crashed 70 years ago! Are you suggesting that most of us are old enough to remember the event?
I already had a few LOLs but here is where I completely lost it:
And one smart ass yells "Gramps: take the brake off!"
Ohhhh...I start to smolder
Noooo....he won't get much older
Did you mention that the Geico Gecko has an Aussie accent for our Aussie friends? And why would you want to do a "Mr. Bill" on the Gecko anyway? Boo-Hiss. =-)
In heaven there's no Segways
You can't drive them sideways
So if you wreck. oh well
Your Segway and you go straight to hell
This is most definately deranged!
And one smart ass yells "Gramps: take the brake off!"
Ohhhh...I start to smolder
Noooo....he won't get much older
Did you mention that the Geico Gecko has an Aussie accent for our Aussie friends? And why would you want to do a "Mr. Bill" on the Gecko anyway? Boo-Hiss. =-)
In heaven there's no Segways
You can't drive them sideways
So if you wreck. oh well
Your Segway and you go straight to hell
This is most definately deranged!
Wendy: Lovely comment...thanx!
alvin: You're already 'cracked up!'...in a good way lol.
John Barry: I think Segway is sponsoring the Zep reunion tour: they'll roll right onstage on 'em!
Mr Macphisto: Thanks so much!
littleCupCake: Glad you liked the ending! I found it irresistible to use segue for Sefway there.
Invisible Boy:Second time I've done the OS...it's not as hard as it seems at first glance, especially for some one as talented as you. Give it a whirl...
Ann: Thanx
John Jenkins: A lot of us are old enough to remember the first Christmas LOL! Tnanks!
Guy: The gecko was smashed when I fell off the Segway and landed in the drink....not intentionally. p.s. ...I had forgotten all about "Mr Bill" from SNL....Brought back a lot of laughs. Thanks so much for the kind words.
alvin: You're already 'cracked up!'...in a good way lol.
John Barry: I think Segway is sponsoring the Zep reunion tour: they'll roll right onstage on 'em!
Mr Macphisto: Thanks so much!
littleCupCake: Glad you liked the ending! I found it irresistible to use segue for Sefway there.
Invisible Boy:Second time I've done the OS...it's not as hard as it seems at first glance, especially for some one as talented as you. Give it a whirl...
Ann: Thanx
John Jenkins: A lot of us are old enough to remember the first Christmas LOL! Tnanks!
Guy: The gecko was smashed when I fell off the Segway and landed in the drink....not intentionally. p.s. ...I had forgotten all about "Mr Bill" from SNL....Brought back a lot of laughs. Thanks so much for the kind words.
AFW: forgot to thank you above. It's the 'zeimers', I swear! Thanks again.
Meatloaf should sing this instead of "Bat Out Of Hell" from now on. One of the better "SoH" parodies I've seen here.
Lots of funny and original stuff here, Dee. Love the gag about if the gecko had insurance and "Noooo....he won't get much older". Maybe a follow up to AC/DC's "Highway To Hell" called "Segway From Hell"? 555.
Thanks, Ag
Red Ant: Glad you liked it: I don't know AC/DC, so have at it! Segway from/to Hell sounds do-able!
Red Ant: Glad you liked it: I don't know AC/DC, so have at it! Segway from/to Hell sounds do-able!
absolutely brilliantly brilliant, Dee - you never waver do you? - loved the idea and the whole goldarned thing - esp."Gramps: take the brake off" which made me literally LOL - 555
I was just reminded of the latest Seinfeld gag, about those walking-frames old people have, and the fact that they have brakes on them.....
Seinfeld: "It seems to me, that if you need a brake for your walking-frame, then maybe you've been misdiagnosed"
Seinfeld: "It seems to me, that if you need a brake for your walking-frame, then maybe you've been misdiagnosed"
Stu, gracias amigo...I remember that Seinfeld, and could have even used that subconsciously for inspiration. I've seen them all way too many times to count, and have been inspired by several episodes.
o...m...g...u r my hero...
I googled looking for songs about Segways, and this is what I came up with? (grin) I can't wait for the music video! You might be amused to know -- life imitating art -- that SegFesT 2008 was held at the Indianapolis racetrack, and yes, people did get to race their Segways on the track. I couldn't make it, but I've seen the video. Kid: Pop a wheelie! Me: I already am, can't you tell? And that bit about being passed by trikes -- sheesh. First we get banned from the sidewalks in SF because we CAN go 12.5 MPH (20 KPH), even though, unlike a bike, we can go 0.01 (0.016) if that's how fast people around us are moving. Now we're getting grief for being too slow? Nah, tell that kid, "breath my electrons!"
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