Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Helped Me Mate It With The Knight"

Original Song Title:

"Help Me Make It Through The Night"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Kris Kristofferson

Parody Song Title:

"Helped Me Mate It With The Knight"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I realized I'd not done a chess parody... that is, one about chess rather than one from Chess, the musical. This does actually work as a game, if not a particularly sensible one :-)
Pawn E2 moves to E4
You reply with pawn E5
Move my knight out to F3
Knight F6 is your reply

Move my knight up to H4
I'm attacking down the right
You move bishop to E7
Nearly threatening my knight

So I move knight to F5
Knight G4.. and now I can
Move pawn up one from B2
Hope you don't see what I've planned

Move your bishop to H4
I don't think that that was right:
Though you're threatening my pawn
I could take you with my knight

I don't care if it looks wrong:
Move my bishop to A3
Then your knight takes my F2 pawn
Forking my castle and queen

For the game is almost gone
Yes, the end now is in sight
I take your G7 pawn
It's checkmate here with the knight

It was almost like you helped
Helped me mate it with the knight


Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Don't know much about the chess you play, but I do know that your title's great.
alvin rhodes - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
unique parody
Stephen Harrington - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
555, not very familiar with chess, but found this parody very ammusing.
Phil Alexander - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Royce, Alvin and Stephen :-)
For anyone who doesn't have a chess set to hand to run through the moves, I put this together: www.cix.co.uk/~philbo/pix/ChessGame.gif - I must admit it did take a bit of thought to work out a nice mate with a knight in few enough moves to fit the song.
AFW - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Quite a clever idea for a parody..worked out well..5's
Rick C - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Great idea, Phil! Great execution of that idea as well. 555
Tim Mayfield - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Umm, that's not checkmate... I checked. I have two moves that can put this into a wild fighting frenzy. Still, you did think it up first, and it is a great parady. 5's
Phil Alexander - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Tim, it most certainly *is* checkmate. It was played through on a fairly simple chess game (see the gif mentioned above), but it gets the rules of chess right. There's a few moves that black could have taken to prevent it, but the final move is mate.
Stuart McArthur - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
I haven't checked the moves, like Tim did, but if you're right Phil (and I take your word for it) the concept, the title, the choice of OS, and the fact you could fit the whole game into that OS, is one of the most extraordinary parodies I've seen - 555
Phil Alexander - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stu :-D - as it happens the choice of OS came first (and I was very surprised when searching to find that I'd done this OS before... I'd forgotten all about that one), then the title gave rise to the concept and I had to try and find a "fool's mate" sort of game to fit with the title.
Larry Hensley - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Also not familiar with chess, but liked this, 555
Rex - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, you've made your move and the parody is posted. It's now my move and I say "very impressive."
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - May 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! I have this exact idea in the works for Village People's "YMCA" as E2-E4 (Young pawn, there's a queen on the move, I said young pawn, you'll be loosing your grove /...../ It's time to make a move: E2-E4, and then the xxx goes XX-XX etc). OK, so I haven't really been working on it since last summer when I got stuck and you've now beaten me to it en passant but I've also taken a look at Scorpions "No pain, no gain" for it so I claime to have come up with it first. *Pouts worse than Arwen and scratches those chess parody ideas out of sketch book). 8-/

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/kriskristofferson11.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1538