Poor guy was so brain-invaded by a slithering life—
Eucestoda was gettin’ in.
Well, when it got started on eatin’, it was thrivin’,
brain-arrivin’, then a fressin’ binge.
And then parts of the cerebellum were bitten
by a worm that’s a brain-food fan.
It was havin’ a chow-down and was very happy.
Guy was a tape’ man.

The worm ate till it was sated; it grew and grew in size;
it wasn’t a vegetarian.
It had no mate to form a nation of brain-tasting population—
singly it was slitherin’.
The guy ain’t got all his brain no more;
out of it a portion had been cored.
And it was enough that he could ill afford.
He’s a been-ate tape’ man.

Guy’s a tape’ man, he’s a tape’-ate man, he is a tape’ man.
Guy’s a think-gone man, he a screw-loose man, ’cause he’s a tape’ man.
The worm had a nice lunch, takin’ several bites—
that’s why the guy now ain’t thinkin’ right;
his gravelly voice causin’ many people fright.
Guy’s voice sure grates, man.

This clan’s devolution has been not at all pretty
after the three brothers tumbled.
Those left looking askance at the relative in the throes
of the untruths he’s mumbled.
He makes the family feel ill at ease;
they wish he’d go away and his nonsense would cease…
muttering, “What a schmuck is he!”
They see: He’s a tape’ man.

Guy’s a tape’ man, he’s a tape’-ate man, he’s a been-ate man.
Guy’s a think-gone man, he’s a screw-loose man, he is a tape’ man.
To put on a big show, that is what he tries,
but what he shows is: a lot he truly lies.
Part of the reason: Part of his brain’s gone “Bye!”
He’s tape-ate, this grate man.

He’s got a running mate; she a tape’-ate girl?
She’s nearly as wacky in their grazed-brain world.

Guy’s a tape’ man, he’s a tape’-ate man, he’s a been-ate man.
Guy’s a dingdong man, he’s a screw-loose man, ’cause he’s a tape’ man.
A worm was scarfin’ down on his brain.
Now there’s a warnin: guy ain’t too sane.
That just isn’t what you want in a candidate:
schmuck with a tape’ brain.

Guy’s no great man, part of a once-great clan; a brain-ate man.
Guy’s a shtik-con scam, he’s a loose-screw man and a tape’-ate man.
The guy’s got a brain that is partly cored,
because on it a tapeworm had gorged.
And now the strangest alliance has been forged:
the crazed mate and tape’ man.