I hate drowning when I'm in my swimming pool.
I hate drowning, I'm yelling and acting like a fool.
There's no lifgeguard around, its hard to get uptight.
Its the end of the world and I'm the stupiedest man not alive.

I'm lying nude burning from the bright sunshine.
The one day i go skinny dipping I had to die.
One by one they give me CPR but now I'm done.
Over and over they try in vein.
And if only only girls were touching me,
I could rest in peace.

I hate drowning when people think that I'm a spy.
I hate drowning, waterboarding makes me cry.
When the water goes down,
there's no secrets to hide.
I'm nearly dead,
And I'll hate the sea for the rest of my life.

If only I had died in a car crash and not at home,
Then it wouldn't say knucklehead on my tombstone.
I'd be smiling if I had overdosed on canibus.
Cursed by fate, death is so unfair.
Now I'm dead and I can't argue,
Does it matter if I swear?

I hate drowning cause drowning can be so unkind.
I hate the fact that i never taught myself to swim,
Back when I was nine.
Oh Lifeguard lady, where are you?
Oh Lifeguard lady, did you see me on the news last night?
Oh Lifeguard lady, where are you?
Oh Lifeguard lady, I wished I'd died during a bull fight.