He remembers the first time he met her
He remembers the first thing she said
"Would you please pass that big dessert platter
The one with the fresh gingerbread"

He remembers her fast way of eatin'
Treats wouldn't last very long
He remembers the way she kept Tweetin'
"If you visit bring cupcakes along"

I'll give you a donut a day dear
I'll give you a donut a day
I'll feed you until your arteries fill
And the ambulance takes you away

As a kid she was always achievin'
And she'd be rewarded with pie
If she did all her chores she would get even more
Soon she needed that sweet sugar high

So she learned to love cookies and candy
And she ate ice cream all summer long
And she thought cake and chocolate were dandy
So he sang her this sugary song

I'll give you a donut a day dear
I'll give you a donut a day
I'll feed you until your arteries fill
And the ambulance takes you away

Now he walks down the street in the evenin'
And he stops by the old candy store
Where the business is no longer boomin'
'Cause he's not buying sweets anymore

Then he walks faster on up the hillside
'Cause the hospital's just one more block
And he makes his way up to her bedside
And gives her a celery stalk

I gave you a donut a day dear
You never did push them away
You ate them until your arteries filled
Now you have to eat salad all day