I ate all the pies; now got a massive gut
With a limp ol’ tool, the man boobs an’ a whackin’ great butt
Wife is always saying “No” if I ask her “Can I climb up upon?”
I ate all the pies; now got a massive butt
(Huge butt butt butt butt…huge butt butt butt butt)

Poor ticker an’ knees: should be in a mausoleum
So if faced by muggers, or Rotties on the loose, I can’t flee 'em
Bad to let your fitness go ‘cause you can't do much at all when it's gone
I ate all the pies; now got a massive butt
(Huge butt butt butt butt…huge butt butt butt butt)

Hey, burger flipper, do another Mickey D now
Got the spots on my kisser: my dinners are swimmin’ in grease…sheesh!
Twenty burgers in a row; it’s no wonder that I've put the weight on
I ate all the pies; now got a massive butt
(Huge butt butt butt butt…huge butt butt butt butt)

Late last night I scoffed a whole roast lamb
On my big jello jacksie, spent today in the can
Next, I’m gonna scoff a doe; all tomorrow I’ll be back on the john
I ate all the pies; now got a massive butt
(Huge butt butt butt butt)

I said, don't it always seem to go: if you eat too much you put the weight on
I ate all the pies; now got a massive butt
(Huge butt butt butt butt)

I ate all the pies; now got a massive butt
(Huge butt butt butt butt)

I ate all the pies; now got a massive butt