COVID's in the air,
Since December 31st.
COVID's everywhere,
From that day it's like we're cursed.

And I don't know if it was foolish
Thinking it's all controlled;
But my President's looking more ghoulish.
Fauci, tell him to shut his piehole.

COVID's in the air,
When I sip my cup of tea.
On my derrière,
In the toilet when I pee.

And when I hear the neighbors screaming,
Don't know if I feel safe;
Guess I'll hole up and resume my meme-ing--
Having fun while assigning the blame.

COVID's in the air.
COVID's in the air.
Oh, oh, oh, oh...

COVID's in the air,
Gotta wear my freaking mask.
COVID's everywhere,
When performing routine tasks.

And I know it makes me look stupid
When I pick up my mail,
But there's something I'd rather not breathe in;
So for five minutes I won't inhale.

COVID's on the air,
Every minute of the news.
COVID's in my hair,
Sticking to my socks and shoes.

So I'm boiling my morning cornflakes,
Bleaching my beans and rice.
I'm brûlée-ing my cheese and my toothpaste,
And my mouthwash is blocks of dry ice.

COVID's in the air.
COVID's in the air.
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Oh, COVID's in the air.
COVID's in the air.
COVID's in the air.
COVID's in the air.
COVID's in the air...